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Health, Thoughts

I don’t like me anymore….


Do you every feel that way?

Not sure if I hate myself, but sometimes I probably act like I do.
I look around me at seriously skinny fit people and I wish I were more like them.
But I don’t end up doing anything to make myself like them. Just wishing to be like them is not going to make me like them. Then why don’t I do something about it?

When I was younger, I prided myself on my will, and determination. If I chose to quit eating meat, I could, if I wanted to do something, I did it, no matter how hard it was. I took care of myself and groomed myself well. I don’t know where I lost that part of me, but somewhere along the way, I almost feel like I must have stopped caring.

I made a few resolutions this week, and I was not successful in keeping a lot of them.
Why not? Have I changed that much? Do I not have control on myself?

I look in the mirror and I see someone I don’t want to – I feel at times that I don’t love me anymore.

I have not been consistently working out or doing anything to support my health.
Did events in my life affect me? Or is it something else? I am not sure. Have you ever felt this way?

In the upcoming week, I am going to be mindful of my resolution and try to stick to
it for the next 5 days. I am also going to add one more resolution to the mix – GYM.

I am going to start by being more regular at the gym – that means spend at least
30 to 45 min each time, for 4 out of 5 days of the week. During this time, I am going to try and run for 2 miles without breaking my speed too much.

I really want the skinny body that I once had (well not really!!) but at least the one I
have always wished I had. Now, the question is, do I want it more than the rest instead of gym, and more than the bag of chips?

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About Indian Pixie

A wannabe writer, a music lover, a geek, a dancer... and a voracious reader!! I don't really fit into any one category and find it really hard to define myself. Moved out of my comfort zone 2 years ago, and into the arm's of country on the other side of the world. Everything changed for me, from what I love doing most and my priorities, to the way I see myself. I am writing this blog, to document all of the crazy thoughts that come to mind, as I experience this amazing transition from my loved home country to another totally new and different country. Join me in experiencing the change.

Discussion

One thought on “I don’t like me anymore….

  1. I so know what you mean. 🙂

    Posted by weightperfect | November 16, 2011, 3:16 pm

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