My mother said this to me in my dream last night. It is yet to be a full year since she passed away, it is her birthday this week (October 27) and I have been missing her on most days for most part of the day.
Last night she visited me in my dream. It was really strange .. surreal if you may call it that. An apartment across from ours (my parent’s home) was dilapidated, there was dust everywhere, and it seemed like a ruin. I thought I saw her there, so I entered the room.
She was there, looking at me, welcoming me. I was so happy to see her – I started crying. “Aai, tu ithe kay kartes?” (Mom, what are you doing here?) I asked her. And she told me her interesting story –
She said after her death, when she met God – he gave her a job. To write the Book of Future. She worked at it from 9 am to 5 pm, and then she was free to hang out with the other Spirits of her World – I think she spent most of her time with my Dad there though.
I was curious, so I asked – “So you know my future?” She replied:
“Not exactly. You see, what I do is write out the consequences of your actions. From the moment you are born, you start making decisions. What to study, how to study, what school to attend, who to marry (yes even this), what job to take and so on. And, with every decision, come its consequences.
So had I not chosen to study Science, I would not have met your father, married him, given birth to you and so on. So my job right now, is to write the consequence of your every decision, the Book of the Lives You Could Have Lived, its quite thick – mind you”
I found this to be quite interesting, so I asked her – “do we also choose our life and death?”
She replied – “We cannot choose when we die or when we are born, but we can choose how we die. Every person on this Earth, comes with an expiration date, how we die depends on circumstances. Every decision of our life impacts our future including our death”
I asked her then – “Would you have seen my wedding, had I married 6 months before I did?”
And she said – “No, because there could have been no wedding, your fiancé or you were not mentally ready for it, and therefore it couldn’t have been held. Also, if you did marry then, it might not have lasted. I have no regrets that I was not physically present in your wedding, because I was there in Spirit.
I saw your wedding through the eyes of your sister, when she embalmed you with turmeric – she cried then – I was in her tears, wishing you could see me, the way I saw you. I saw your wedding through the eyes of your father, who was sitting behind you blessing you. I saw it through the eyes of all the guests, and through the priest’s eyes. I was with you every moment of that wedding, and before that. The night prior to the wedding when you cried softly – I woke your father up to come and soothe you. I was with you my child, every minute of your wedding.
Had I been physically present, there was no saying how it would have been, you might have not been able to enjoy your day, so in thinking of the both of us, God brought me to him before your big day. But don’t make the mistake of thinking I wasn’t with you – I was”
Hearing this, gave me a lot of peace. I had sorely missed her in my wedding, and found it quite difficult to accept that she wasn’t in my wedding. With these statements, my mother had given me an inner solace that she was with me every minute of my life, and she was happy. She was my guide and my mentor, losing her had taken a toll on me – now I know she is closer not farther from me.
Getting back to our discussion, she mentioned that while we cannot control the quantity of our life, by choosing the time of our death, but we can choose how we die. She said, had she not died the way she did, she might have in some other way. But she had to go when her time was up.
So now, looking on that dream and the guidance from my mother, I will make more mindful decisions in choosing the quality of my limited life on Earth.
I do hope you found this dream as impactful as I did…